Important Press Release – Christmas Means Christmas
“Christmas means Christmas with North Pole+++”, says Core Music
Start date December 20th 2018
Core Music today announce a breakthrough deal with Santa and his elves that will avoid a hard Chrixit for music lovers in Tynedale.
Many who feared an abrupt exit from Christmas will now see musical festivities restored.
The radical plan – labelled ‘North Pole+++’ by Elf Union (EU) negotiators – sees Core Music formally recognised as the backstop for Santa’s single planet ambitions.
“We didn’t expect it would ever be needed,” said Mike Coleman, Lead Saviour at the Hexham-based music outlet. “But Santa’s got so much cheer and goodwill to deliver this year, we were worried he’d have no space for all the musical instruments people want for Christmas.
“Now, anyone who wants to give an instrument as a present can come to Core Music and we’ll help them out!”
Rotund mythical philanthropist Santa Claus commented: “My sleigh is as strong and stable as they come but the world needs more joy than ever in 2018 and the reindeer will struggle to deliver what people expect from Christmas. Now, people can help me out by going to Core Music and taking control of Christmas for themselves.”
“Core Music is always ready to lend a hand,” EU chief negotiator Barney Michael acknowledged. “Now, thanks to North Pole+++, Christmas will mean Christmas for everyone in Tynedale!”
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Notes for Editors
Core Music is great.